Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in tomajwebb's InsaneJournal:

Sunday, April 10th, 2011
5:57 pm	Emotional affair heartbreak Are you a woman who is experiencing an emotional affair with a married man?   Prepare for lots of disappointment because he will most likely not leave his spouse for you.  This is reality.  Men tend to stay with the wife rather than leave for other women.   Not what you wanted to hear, I know,  but it's the truth.   Anyway, you deserve someone better than him anyway! Conniving men exploit women's desire to be noticed, accepted and loved by wooing them, making them feel like the center of the universe and telling them exactly what they want to hear.  Next thing you know you're caught up in an emotional affair thinking you are his soul mate and the love of his life.   He tells you the love you share is unique and unlike anything else and you believe it.   The emotional affair is thrilling because he keeps saying you're an amazing woman and gorgeous.    He says you're meant to be together and he wishes you were his wife instead.   This is only to get you in the sack.    Regardless of what he says, he really wants you in bed with him and nothing more. He could be bored with his wife, ignored at home or maybe just a regular scoundrel.  Doesn't matter.  What matters is the emotional affair with you is his way of enjoying infidelity while telling himself he is not a cheater.  If his wife had an affair he would go nuts!  But since it's him he makes excuses to himself and one of them is that he won't get serious with you.  Maybe it's financially inconvenient to leave his wife for you.  Regardless, he's staying married. Do yourself a favor and do not have emotional affairs with married men.  You will only get hurt in the end. (Comment on this)
Friday, March 11th, 2011
2:24 pm	Survive infidelity In accordance to statistical reports males cheat more than women. This is almost certainly not a revelation to anyone. The true problem here is exactly why do males cheat. This isn't something that has been absolutely nailed down, but at this time there is a single explanation that seems to be noticeable from the remaining. Read more to determine the most common motive that males cheat in relationships. The Cause A lot of women are inclined to feel it's their fault that their man is unfaithful. This ends up in the female feeling terrible about herself and causes issues with self-confidence. The reality is that the main reason men cheat has nothing to do with the person they're with. The most typical reason why men fool around is that males have a natural drive to find various sexual partners. They may seek out women who has something their current spouse doesn't have, but that draws them. Men seem to be biologically willing to be unfaithful. It's controllable, however, given that there are many men that do not cheat. Nonetheless, for some males that biological pull is too powerful. They might not actually intend to hurt the female they're with, but that's always what seems to transpire. How to Spot Infidelity Recognizing disloyalty is not always simple. It might be made difficult if the man has fooled around before. Then again, there is some truth to the old saying once a cheater, always a cheater, because once a man succumbs to the natural habit they have a hard time deflecting it in the future. Usually you'll have a suspicion or see changes in your companion that indicate he could be cheating. You may even see obvious signs such as lipstick stains on clothing or reek of someone else's perfume. You may even get a call from his other woman. Often a mistress may talk with you and explain to you what's happening and other times they merely hang up. Current Mood: nauseated Current Music: Indy (Comment on this)
2:01 pm	Coping with an emotional affair Does your marriage make you feel as though you are being taken advantage of? Are you currently going through a low point in your relationship? If you are, is it because either you or your husband or wife are surviving an emotional affair and need support? Then hopefully, this posting will explain why affairs happen, and produce you with some advice on how you can rebuild your marriage and help it to thrive again. I am certain that you're going through a pretty rough period, but don't quit just yet, because things will get better after the affair. Understanding affairs and why they happen. Firstly, a physical affair - affairs of lust - are the least difficult to get over. The reason this is so is because they are usually simply affairs that happen unplanned. They are not premeditated and there was no intention to hurt anyone. This sort of affairs are easier to get over because they do not entail love. There's no emotional connection. Emotional affairs are a absolutely different deal and usually contains an element of love. But they are not always physical. Emotional affairs normally occur when either spouse finds a void that needs to be filled. They're looking for whatever that they are not getting in their matrimony. It could merely be passion or affection. So to survive an emotional affair it's important to uncover ways by which to fill the gaps and plug the holes. Current Mood: nauseated Current Music: Indy (Comment on this)
1:44 pm	Surviving an affair Your document contains an error. Check to see if the braces match. ie. '{' and '}' count is equal. Current Mood: nauseated Current Music: Indy (Comment on this)
1:08 pm	Advice to restore from an emotional affair Tip #1: Take Responsibility It's pretty typical for a partner that had transgressions to really feel unremorseful. And it can be also much more typical for the victimized partner to really feel that it is not his or her wrong doing. Nonetheless, right after obtaining qualified assistance, a couple learns that they need to each take accountability for exactly what has occured. Realize that it will require two hands to clap. By taking accountability on the situation, it makes the process much easier and smoother. Tip #2: Be sincere and dependable Being sincere with one another helps to preserve a relationship after an extramarital relationship. Be accountable for every one of your decisions and whereabouts. This prevents the cheating partner from heading back to his or her lover and permits both parties to discuss their feelings about the areas to enhance in their relationship. Have a dialogue with your significant other about the extramarital relationship and ensure that both of you are providing constructive and honest comments to one another. But prior to that, ask yourself whether the answers to specific questions will damage you and further deepen your scars. Tip #3: Take your time Steer clear of searching too deep directly into the intimate facts of the affair straight away. The two parties are either feeling hurt or bad and hastening to preserve a marriage after an extramarital relationship will simply aggravate the problem. It took me two and a half years to get over the pain and I am blessed that my partner had the tolerance to see us through. Take your time to mend the damaged patches, a worthy marriage requires no time limit to recover. Current Mood: nauseated Current Music: Indy (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 10th, 2011
9:37 pm	Save your marriage from emotional affair Finding that your unfaithful spouse is having an emotional affair with somebody else can be crushing. I hear frequently, "that I can manage her sleeping with someone else. I think it's doable to handle that". However, for her to give her love to another person is hard for me to take. What can you particularly do to strengthen the probability of preserving the marriage? Usually the shocked spouse reacts passionately and then draws out all stops to win her back. Become overbearing. Begs. Sweet-talks. Makes promises to modify. Gets in her face. Sends flowers. Sets up dates. Talks to to her family and friends. Stalks her by phone. Constant questioning, sometimes even hourly. She can hardly breath without him in her face and that's how he wants it. It usually fails. Why? Well, for one reason she has discovered all the arousal and excitement she seems to need in her newfound love. At a much deeper level this is puzzling enough for the unfaithful husband or unfaithful wife. Any additional feedback will be too much to handle and she is subject to closing the door on the marriage actually further more. In addition, you would be better served by giving some emotional balance, by being that solid centered core that will hold her firm when the wind of drama or that external excitement entices and blows her around. Should you overwhelm her with your neediness, then you are absolutely NOT helping your marital rapport in an essential manner that's necessary during this period. Your woman is also very likely to push a much deeper wedge between you by making comparisons between you and him. With your neediness dripping around the place, you possess no possibility of coming out in advance. Sorry. This is a tactic that helps solve the issue and enhances the chances of salvaging the matrimony. It is called backing off. You will need to find out the right way to detach. Stop agitating her. Keep a lower profile. Be quiet - most of the time. Stop making demands that could be viewed as breaching her private space. Cease asking questions. Stop attempting get some guarantee from her. Stop being a complete bother. Remember, this affectionate state will fade. You should possess the self-assurance that it may. You will require a considerable amount of tolerance however. This outside affair may and, with the right elements, will, run its course. She demands the breathing space. She wants some peaceful time to actually find herself and face the mental void within. Whether or not she at any time shares it with you, the lady will constantly question if or not this is what she really wants? At some time I ought to return to fact. Where am I going with this? Is this the route that I actually want to proceed? Precisely why am I so centered on him? Why do I experience this empty pit in my stomach when I'm not with him? What does this state about me? In the event that she is mature enough, this is her opportunity to learn what REAL love is. Don't get in her way. I understand. This is better said than done. Nevertheless, you have to do it. It is vitally important that you discover to handle yourself and continue on the direct and narrow route. It's at this point with the men I coach, exactly where I teach them a skill referred to as "charging neutral" to help "back off." Utilize that skill. It will require some work. It most likely will require that you get to understand yourself much better, that you acquire more self-assurance in youself aside from what you may picture she does with him, and that you create a sturdy foundation under yourself that can withstand this tempest. This is your opportunity to grow to a new level. She will notice. And, she may well like it. Your backing off does not necessarily mean that you will completely avoid her. Really the opposite. You want to keep in touch with her, but make it stictly quality time. Try to make sure that it will be the sort of connecting that does reward you, and that confronts her with the actuality of her choice. It could possibly quite possibly work toward resolution for the marriage. Current Mood: nauseated Current Music: Indy (Comment on this)